Today I signed my first autograph. Two of them in fact! Congratulations to Erin and Jada for being quick on the ball point pen. Future commodities inspectors will look back to this blog for authentication purposes. Be sure to buy a second reading copy so you can keep your original in a hermetically sealed safety deposit box!
Special acknowledgements for Mike buying both the first paperback and the first e-book! Good response time, Mike, let us know which one ends better!
Also, quintuple-thanks to Tracey for setting the purchase record at five copies! I hope each one is better than the last!
Lastly but not leastly, the long-distance award goes to Jim-Tom in India (at least, I think that's where he is... so hard to keep track of you, man!) Let me know how that southern slang translates in Malayalam!
Thank you all, though! Sales are cruising through the roof! They are up over two-thousand percent from this time last year. It seems I am an inter-dimensional sensation that can't be stopped! The Mirror Universe just requisitioned a million more copies and the Negative Zone is sold out!
Back in the real world, you can find me this weekend in Winona, MN at the corner of 5th and Main for my first ever live appearance and book signing! See my previous blog post for more info!
Even though the printer still has to physically produce your copy especially for you after you order it, I have numerous reports of delivery in less than a week! If you've gotten one already, feel free to post your results on the site! I'd love to hear how the quality came out, what the delivery time was, and most importantly, how beautiful that bonus art is in the back! If you think you can do better, well, just send it to me, I'd love to see it!
See you in the future,
Stardate 10-19-2015 (note, get a real star date calculator)
Today is the day my book is available online. I expect by the time I finish posting this blog about the achievement, I will go back and check my sales numbers and discover no less than a million sales which will unequivocally prove one thing: That my future fans, in an effort to collect on this rare first edition print, have gathered all their intellect together to travel back in time to the present where they will no longer be future fans. They will be… (wait for it)… present fans! I guess that doesn’t sound so momentous, but give them some credit, they traveled through time to read my sci-fi western book about the past.
Although in their defense, it is way cheaper to invent time-travel because in their time my book is a very expensive cultural phenomenon that has become cost-prohibitive to everyone but the one percent of the one percent (which if you think of it is ironically antithetical to the themes of the story itself). Which is why to preserve the integrity of the punk element of my steampunk (really it’s gaspunk, but who’s quibbling?) my future fans have come back through the ages to join me on this auspicious occasion. So to stand in solidarity and to stick it to the corporate-political tyrants of every generation, let us all get out our noble credit cards and join the revolution of e-commerce to purchase my culture defining work of creative brilliance!
Sorry, that got a little self-inflated. It’s really just some fun jetpack adventures. The anti-establishment vibe is more of an undertone.
But really, this is the culmination of a life-long dream and may very well be my greatest achievement (excepting of course that Lego Starship Enterprise I made from scratch when I was thirteen). So go check it out! Or at least buy a copy for your sister’s boyfriend who you think is into that stuff.
See you in the future,
PS. Click here to Buy!
PPS. Click here to read a Sample!
Sorry, future fans, it seems I have been foiled once again by long and tedious bureaucratic entanglements which threaten to forestall the inevitable publishing of your once and future heroine, Lorna Lockheed. Basically, I'm stuck.
It is 11: 21 PM, Central Standard Time. I have just ordered five proof copies (the most allowed) of my book. Estimated time of delivery: only ten days.
The review process was pretty quick and only resulted in one error regarding pagination (my even and odd page numbers were reversed). It took me an hour of hangry panic to figure out what I did to cause such a nonsensical problem, but it ultimately resulted in a much more cleanly formatted book (and I did eventually eat some breakfast).
Below I have included the full cover image, including front and back. Doug did some mighty fine work here, so you all be sure to tell him thank you on Facebook!
The other good news is that I will not only have an actual book for sale in time for the Winona Area Author's Roundtable in 3 weeks, but I will have some tangible copies as well to show and maybe even sell...?
But how can I give away my first 5 advanced reader copies (ARCs for those in the biz)? These are signed, numbered, extremely limited, first printing, first edition ARCs that could be worth untold tens of dollars one day! Well, future fans, this could be your golden opportunity to travel back in time to Saturday October 24, 2015 in Winona MN at the corner of Fifth and Main and snatch a copy for yourself. In future money, I'm sure it will have so much value that it will easily cover the cost of research & development and construction of your rudimentary time (and space!) machine.
See you soon future fans...