If I was even a little bit photogenic, I’d be in movies, not self-publishing my steampunk on Amazon. Still, you gotta have a picture on the back cover or somewhere so people can identify you as a real flesh and blood author with vision, not some computer program spewing out pre-calculated drivel with which to sedate the masses in preparation for the robot revolution. In keeping with my collaborative spirit and because selfies are not how they say: "professional", I got my brother to snap some shots. You can find his work at Fine Art America. He's also got a few videos on You Tube. We went with the “inexpensive senior class” pictures route for much of the shoot. Sunglasses on. Sunglasses off. Sunglasses on with arms folded. Walk along the railroad tracks looking cool without looking like you're trying to look cool. Again with sunglasses. Lean back against an aging tree and stare thoughtfully into the distance. Needless to say this little gem snuck through despite our best efforts at gauche emo faux-sentimentalism. We were aiming for nineties Christian rock-band self-help memoir. But this… this could actually work. (Except now that I made that reference I think I ruined it forever.) The look is just assertive enough to say, “Buy this book. No really. Do it. Do it now.” Well at the same time it’s confident enough to assure you that I at least think I know what I’m doing, and probably not wasting your time. And the sensible haircut and nice shirt says if I can clean myself up, I probably put at least half as much effort into the production value, so it’s not a hack job. Eh, it probably still is. But you may not notice on account of the sensible haircut. These are important feelings because the number one reaction people will have when they find out I wrote a book, after “You write?!” will be, “I wonder if it’s any good,” followed by, “Even if he can write, it’s probably pretty shoddy-looking.” So they will glance at the back, check out my picture and breathe a sigh of relief. “At least he doesn’t look like a pervert.” Because, you know, science fiction. And maybe they’ll buy a copy for their cousin’s boyfriend who they think is into that. (He is not. He reads cyberpunk. Totally different.) So without further ado, here they are in all their uncensored, un-retouched glory…
2 Comments
Sir William Gordon Perkins
9/20/2015 08:50:55 am
Hey...this is my son!
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C William Perkins
9/22/2015 06:40:01 pm
Awe, gee, thanks Dad
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